The love story of Can & Luiza Ansay

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Luiza Ansay
Luiza Ansay

Love stories of happy couples are always fascinating and romantic. How did you meet your future husband? How quickly did you realize that this is your destiny?
I consider myself very lucky in this matter. My husband was literally the “knight in shiny armor”. He appeared in my life when I was in a very vulnerable state, in the first summer of Covid-19, when things were falling apart for me. It was the end of August in Monaco. I’ve lived in Monte Carlo prior to Covid, but then moved to Paris, which wasn’t the best place to be during the pandemic. At that time I worked with luxury goods and my trip to Monte Carlo was a good opportunity to organize a couple of events. Actually I was so blinded by my career goals, that at first I didn’t realize I met the man of my life. This is what happens when we – women are too much on our masculine side. We cannot open our eyes and hearts to what’s really right for us. From the outside I was very feminine, but my heart was closed and not trusting. This of course can be an asset – I don’t fall in love easily since I prioritize my brain versus my heart in making the decision if the man is right for me. But at that moment I was really blocking any feelings that could make me vulnerable.
Monaco is my lucky spot. It’s definitely worth the gamble coming here. Home to the elite, it’s already a big filter for meeting successful people (although this means a lot of con artists too, who use the Monaco brand to lure their victims, but that’s another story…). In my quest (at least theoretically) to be a feminine woman – I knew I needed a masculine man. And one of the key factors of attractiveness in this case are success and generosity. I was not willing to play the 50/50 game in which modern society is tricking us into. I didn’t know what I wished for – this really changed who I am today and what advice I give to my female friends. It’s not an easy transition and it took me months to adjust.

Luiza Ansay
kavychkiMy husband often says he won the gamble of his life meeting me there

Coming back to my now husband : our first meeting place is very symbolic – the Casino Square in Monte Carlo. My husband often says he won the gamble of his life meeting me there. It was a beautiful late summer evening. I was on a walk and photo shooting for social media with my mother. While approaching the Square it was hard to miss a tall, handsome, confident man heading in our direction. I’m used to men talking to me on the street, but the boldness he displayed (plus in the presence of my mother) was unprecedented. But then came the even more unexpected and disappointing moment when he spoke to me these words: “Sorry, I don’t have much time, but can I ask you a question: has anybody ever told you how beautiful MY eyes are (he was pointing to his eyes to make sure his point wasn’t misunderstood). I wasn’t offended though, so I laughed and said that well, he just told me…and I was so not interested in this arrogant playboy, that in order for him to just leave us and stop wasting my precious time (having in mind the glass of champagne we were about to enjoy at Café de Paris) – I gave him my business card (carrying business cards is a habit I have from living in Japan) and waved him goodbye. It didn’t surprise me that he wrote the same evening, but my bad impression persisted, so I didn’t care to reply. But destiny had it that we had to meet again. Two days later, once again in the surroundings of the Casino, we bumped into each other. He just had a swim and I was heading to my two meetings at the Yacht Club. At first I was annoyed and wished Monaco was more anonymous, but then having in mind that I have a time gap between the two meetings, I wouldn’t mind him offering me a glass of champagne at the Wine Palace. He had me at my weak point – it’s hard for me to refuse a good glass of Cristal. That’s how it began. I learned he was a successful tech entrepreneur, who recently moved to the south. He invited me the same evening to dinner and continued persistently to spend as much time with me as possible…I enjoyed the beach clubs, the fancy restaurants and bars, but I refused to let myself get emotionally engaged. I was still prioritizing my career and couldn’t open my heart. Here comes the “knight in shiny armor” – ignoring my cold attitude towards him, he continued his pursuit for my heart and when I became vulnerable with my health (mental and physical) – he stepped in to take care of me. That’s when I could finally clearly see he was my destiny. In today’s world, where we are used to immediate gratification, men who take the effort to chase a woman are so rare. But this I believe is a key element to a successful relationship…

Luiza Ansay
kavychkiI believe that in how the fundament of our relationship was built lies the success of our marriage

What helps you keep passion in a relationship? What little things make your marriage different from other successful unions?
I believe that in how the fundament of our relationship was built lies the success of our marriage. Without a strong foundation, you can’t build a structure that should last through turbulent times. Enough metaphors…trust is essential in any relationship. We are both very self aware, because we know that love requires constant work. If one side gives up – there is no future. You have to be ready to compromise. This was one of the hardest points for me. Until recently I was guarding my independence with my life, escaping any situation that endangered my perceived freedom. That’s why it is key to educate yourself on every stage of your life. When I stepped into my new role as a girlfriend, fiancé and wife, I learned the complexity of being in a relationship and this saved me from drama, misunderstandings and being hurt. I also made very clear our gender differences. The dynamic between the masculine and the feminine is the secret ingredient to this magic love potion.

Luiza Ansay
kavychkiMy husband is very romantic. He remembered the date when we first met and since then he makes sure we celebrate this day every single month

Awareness keeps us focused not to fall into the pitfalls of long term relationships. If there is something we feel is not right – we communicate it directly, so that no resentment is able to poison our hearts and minds.
My husband and I are both very passionate about our careers. In both cases there is no clear boundary between business and life. At this very moment we’re at a luxury resort working on the launch of revolutionary AI services…
We’re in constant travel from hotel to resort, from home to home. No time to get bored…
My husband is very romantic. He remembered the date when we first met and since then he makes sure we celebrate this day every single month. And now since we are married – we have two dates…it’s so important to show the other side that they’re not taken for granted.

Luiza Ansay
Luiza Ansay

During filming for a German tv channel

Timing is also key – a man who cannot commit to you soon enough is not worth your time. As women we shouldn’t give away our precious years as an act of charity or rather desperation. In this case I would advise such a woman to be single and concentrate on herself (actually that’s when the real man appears in her life).
It took my husband one year to propose to me and in less than two years we got married. Now we’re awaiting our first baby. I don’t want to generalize too much and say that my experience is the only road to happiness. I had the advantage of age difference and maturity as my alias. Don’t make this a non-negotiable condition, but I just believe that relationships where the man is older than the woman have higher chances of long term success. We differ in gaining maturity and if a man has his life (and career) figured out, he will want to share all the time and success he achieved with the woman of his dreams. Becoming clear on what you want will help you manifest that in your reality. My husband was looking for the woman of his life and I was open to meeting my prince one day…

Luiza Ansay

Christos Psaras
In one of our homes

Which places in Côte d’Azur fill you with energy and positivity? Do you prefer an active holiday or leisurely romantic walks?
I’m often compared to Brigitte Bardot and as a couple we have a strong presence. People don’t forget us. Trying not to sound pretentious – we fit into the image of the jet set from the 60s and 70s, BB and Gunter Sachs etc. The great thing about Côte d’Azur is that you can have both glamor and pure nature in the distance of a 10 minute drive. You have the mountains and the sea. You can escape for the weekend to Italy… I fell in love with Monaco during my stay in the winter time. Having constant sunshine, mild temperatures and sea view definitely beat the winter blues. It’s also more authentic compared to the overcrowded with tourists summertime. Me and my husband are very social, so we are regular guests at local famous beach clubs. We balance our social life with more quiet moments – walks in the close by mountains or romantic strolls in seaside towns such as Beaulieu-sur-Mer, Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat or Menton. Following the footsteps of Brigitte Bardot, we love to revisit St Tropez. I truly understand why BB favors this once fishermen’s village…

Luiza Ansay

Villa Ephrussi de Rothschild

As a successful and happy woman, what would you wish to people who still have the big steps ahead of them? Could you give some advice on achieving your cherished goal?
I believe that what took me to the place where I am today is my self awareness. It’s very easy and comfortable to live your life on autopilot and to never get out of your comfort zone. Because of my upbringing on different continents and different countries, I was very early on aware of different lifestyles and that we are actively responsible for what life brings us through our decisions. If I saw signs of stagnation, I would take action to break the cycle. This resulted in taking leaps instead of baby steps. I know that it’s easier said than done and that it seems scary, but trust me, life is too precious and short to live it in a mediocre way. I always had big dreams. It’s human to have doubts and fall on the way, but it’s crucial to have your goals always in place. And appreciate the “now”, feel gratitude for what you have already. That will build confidence in the future. Start with yourself before correcting others. Practicing healthy self love will guide you through situations and turbulent times. My final advice is to cultivate a spiritual life. There will be times when only God can take you out of the dark spot you are in. I had a share of my difficult experiences and only trust in the transcendent saved me.

Luiza Ansay
Cannes Film Festival
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